The Glorious LARP

by Flattened Earth

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BenMech Matt is a friend of mine. Jon Shaeffer is a traitorous moron.

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about

Flattened Earth is the world's first historic reenactment metal band

Inspired by the events of 1/6/21 "The Glorious LARP" imagines what it might be like to be a confused LARPer at the capitol who happens to be in a mid-tier metal band

lyrics

Patriots assemble
On this day in history
Guided by the internet
A deep conspiracy

Our President of Game Shows
Conjured up the plan
We'll march with flags and bear spray
(BEAR SPRAY!)
Into the promised land

Finally I stand and fight
No longer just a pawn
Like my heroes White Jesus Christ
And the evil clown from Spawn

Six charges brought against me
The FBI knows my name
There's no where left to run
Everybody knows about my band

Our mighty insurrection
Did not unfold as planned
All I did was spray some cops
With the bear spray in my hand
I wish my deeds were glorious
Like the martyrs by my side
To tase myself in the balls
Have a heart attack and die

Now that I am a wanted man
There is just one way to fly
I must turn myself in to the FBI